If you’re looking for a lesson in how to eat pussy from someone who has experience at both ends of the tongue, look no further. I’m a 30-something lesbian woman who has spent a lot of time giving oral sex to women, and receiving it…
Yep, I know how to lick a clit to orgasm and I’ve had my pussy eaten many a time; some good, some not so good! And so, to reduce the chances of a not-so-good eating out experience, I’m going to give you a free taster in the art of cunnilingus.
If you’d like to read my book The Cunnilinguist on Amazon please click here — you won’t be able to find it by searching because, almost immediately after release, Amazon banned it from being displayed in search results. They deemed the content “too adult” compared to other sexuality books. Yep, seriously! #frustrating
Did you know that a research study of 52,000 Americans found that receiving oral sex is by far the strongest predictor of how frequently women orgasm? Yep, it went so far as to suggest that receiving oral sex (cunnilingus) could even double a woman’s chance of orgasm! You can read more on that here!
Regardless if you are male, intersex or female, identify as non-binary, man or woman (or girl or boy!); whomever you are and whatever your gender or sexual orientation, if you want to know how go down on a vulva in style, you’re in the right place.
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And yes, that’s right — I said vulva. Not clit, not vagina. Vulva.
Not sure what a vulva is, well let’s get this party started…Read on to discover how you can please your partner and become a pussy-eating, pussy-licking cunnilinguist guru.
- Pussy map: an overview female anatomy
- The Vulva
- The Vagina
- The Clitoris
- The secrets of the clitoral network & pudendal nerve
- What is “sex”?
- How to give safe cunnilingus
- How to use a dental dam
- 5 ways you can use dental dams to enhance pleasure
- How to pleasure a girl / woman / vulva-owner
- Top 10 Pussy-licking mistakes to avoid
- How to eat pussy…
- How to lick a clit and give oral sex the right way
- 5 bonus techniques: advanced pussy licking and how to stop tongue ache
- How to tell if she has orgasmed
- How to give her multiple orgasms
- How to satisfy a woman in bed – always
- A caveat – it takes two to tango, even with oral sex
Pussy map: an overview female anatomy
If you’re going to become a cunnilinguist and eat pussy like a champ, you need to know a little bit about female anatomy and the lay of the land. I realise this is the bit many of you will be tempted to skip over, but don’t; I’ll keep it brief. Promise.
Firstly, pussy comes in all shapes and sizes.
In the fine words of Chet Pussy: You’ll find black pussy, white pussy, silky pussy, hairy pussy, velvet pussy, and a whole spectrum in between. Thankfully, I’ve yet to encounter a real, live, snapping pussy. Don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, check out Quentin Tarantino’s vampire movie From Dusk ‘Til Dawn. But yeah, just be aware that there is a huge variety of pussy out there and no such thing as a “normal” pussy.
C’mon in pussy lovers!
The Vulva
Everything external in the genital region can be referred to as the vulva. That includes the clitoris (aka the clit), the clitoral hood, urethra tip (pee hole), lips (labia majora and minora) and pubic mound. Similar to the external genitalia of a male, the vulva contains many highly erogenous zones that can result in orgasm if stimulated. And yes, you guessed it, the tongue is a damn good tool for getting the job done. Licking pussy is much more likely to arouse your partner and bring them to orgasm than straight-up penetration of the vagina.
Important note: in terms of sexual pleasure, it is the vulva (and specifically the clitoris) which is most similar to the penis NOT the vagina!
A strawberry-inspired diagram of the vulva!
The vulva is a little bit like a cock n balls: The tiny part of the clitoris you can see is similar to the head of the penis (the rest of the clitoral organ lies beneath the surface and is similar to the shaft), the clitoral hood is similar to the penis foreskin and the inner lips are comparable to the testicles. That’s very crude and rough; the important thing to remember is that most of a female’s erogenous zones are on the outside, not the inside!
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Now, back to it…
The Mound & The Lips
The mound (aka Mound of Venus) and outer lips can be seen fairly easily and are the two areas that would naturally be covered in pubic hair. Relative to everything else in the genital region, they are least sensitive.
The inner lips (aka labia minora) are hairless and loaded with blood vessels and nerve endings. They are the next level of protection to the vagina. The inner lips can be either completely enclosed by the outer lips or protrude below. They vary hugely in size, shape, texture, and color. These lips are much more sensitive than the outer lips, they produce oily fluids that contain pheromones, which can increase sexual attraction, further enhance arousal, and provide lubrication. You’ll be giving the inner lips a lotta love.
Female anatomy diagram: between the legs and the pudendal nerve
The Vagina
The vagina is the internal “tunnel” part of the person you’re going down on. It leads to the cervix which is the narrow passage into the womb (aka the uterus – the place where babies grow). Contrary to popular belief, there are very few pleasure points within the vagina, relative to the vulva.
When it comes to pussy licking, a tongue is pretty useless for stimulating the vagina (although I do like a dip every now and then). You’ll need to use fingers and/or a toy if your partner desires a lap and a fuck at the same time.
Female anatomy: side view (diagram also shows the pudendal nerve)
The Clitoris
The head of the clitoris or glans is commonly referred to as the clitoris, or clit. It is the sensitive pink nub you’ll find right below the hood, often described as pea-sized but frequently a lot smaller or larger. There are around 8,000 nerve endings concentrated in that tiny nub, spreading sensations out to other areas. This is one of the reasons the head of the clitoris has a hood: To protect it. However, the hood in itself is also erogenous tissue that is extremely useful when bringing your partner to climax
The clitoris is actually a lot more than this little piece of visible flesh. The “clit” you see is only the tip of the iceberg: The majority of the clitoral organ lies beneath the surface and is made up of erectile tissue surrounded by nerves that spreads those sensation along the lips, throughout the pelvic region (including around the vagina entrance) and hook up to sex organ numero uno: The brain.
The secrets of the clitoral network & pudendal nerve
A basic understanding of what the clitoral network is will give you phenomenal insight as to how and why certain things can drive your lover wild with pleasure—or pain. For those of you who really want to understand the secret of the clitoral network and pudendal nerve — the key to the clitoral orgasm, please consider spending a few dollars and buying my book or my audiobook. Meanwhile, understanding the clitoral organ (for simplicity, the end of the pudendal nerve & surrounded by the clitoral network) will
Diagram of the clitoris featuring approximate overlay of vulva area (the “head” is the only part you can see and what is commonly referred to as the “clit”)
The sole purpose of the clitoris is to provide pleasure. You’ll be focusing a lot on that little nub once you get down to business.
There’s a lot more we could dive into such as the pudendal nerve (which you can see in some of the diagrams above and is worth reading up on — more details on that can be found in my book) but I promised to keep anatomy short. So we’ll finish with a diagram showing the location of the G-spot, which, if you refer to the clitoral organ diagram above, you’ll see is very much related to the clitoris (clitoral organ). If your partner like’s penetration, hitting this spot whist lavishing your tongue on their clit can be a real hit.
Diagram showing the location of the G-Spot (the most sensitive areas in the vagina are near it’s entrance). More here.
What is “sex”?
Before we move on I’d like you to quickly have a think about what “sex” is and what it means to you. Reproductive sex (to produce babies) is thrusting the penis into the vagina with the aim of ejaculation and fertilization of the woman’s egg by sperm. It is commonly referred to as “sexual intercourse” and even simply as “sex”. This reproductive process happens to be a pleasurable experience for a male, less-so for a female — it can be but not always, pleasure for the woman involves stimulating the vulva, and specifically the clitoris, remember? Think pussy! Prrrr!
These limited understandings and beliefs of what constitutes “having sex” have been with us since childhood sex-ed classes and have carried through into adult live, with many grown men and still women thinking of “sex” as being cock in vag. Ask yourself;
- When was the last time you “had sex”…
with the aim of producing a baby? - When was the last time you “had sex”…
with the aim of producing pleasure?
If pleasure is the main purpose of sex, then surely our definition and understanding of “sex” needs to change?
I’d say I have sex regularly and it never involves a penis*. Strapon— sometimes; vibrator— maybe; penis—never. What it always involves is a lot of kissing and touching, and it mostly includes at least some lick-licky pussy-eating action. For the “receiver”, sex almost always results in at least one orgasm and I’d say averages out around the 2-3 mark. Yep, women can orgasm multiple times and it’s not unheard of to approach double digits!
So, in order for us all to have better and more satisfying sexual encounters — and yes, that applies to you with the cock too; if you’ve ever taken the time to notice, a woman who is aroused to the point of climax becomes wild, lustful and wants you more — we need to update our thinking on what “sex” is (and sure, penetration is very often a part of it, even with us lesbians). Basically, when a woman orgasms, or comes close to orgasm, sex becomes intense for everyone involved.
Fortunately, we can orgasm many times, just not typically through penetration alone. But you know that already, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Let’s move on…
*Interestingly, in many places lesbians cannot even have “sex” as in most jurisdictions, lack of a penis means there is no legal definition for “lesbian sex”. Even the criminalization and de-criminalization of homosexuality didn’t even really recognize anyone without a penis. It seems many a lesbian “virgin” walks amongst us 😉
How to give safe cunnilingus
Technically, cunnilingus is one of the safest forms of sex you can indulge in, but low risk doesn’t mean no risk and hygiene should be considered for all forms of sex. I know this probably isn’t top of the list as regards what you want to know, so I’ll just give you a short list of 6 pussy-eating considerations:
- Practice good oral (hygiene). The vagina is cleaner than the mouth. Yes, it’s true. So give your mouth a quick rinse with a non-stinging wash or chew a piece of sugarless gum. Gum not only helps neutralize bacteria, but will get your saliva going, which is a big plus. Just don’t do anything that might cause bleeding such as flossing of heavy brushing.
- Trim your nails. Ok, we’re talking oral sex here, but your hands are going to get involved too. Clean, trimmed nails are a must. No one likes having their delicate bits handled with snagged or rough nails. You don’t have to cut them super short, but do keep them trimmed and buffed.
- Remove your rings. Especially if they have stones or carvings; It’s better to go ring-free so that you don’t accidentally injure the person you’re trying to pleasure. Jewelry also harbors bacteria and dirt, which can lead to infections. Just like you need clean nails, you don’t want to introduce germs to the party through your jewelry.
- Groom your facial hair. If you’ve got stubble, it’s usually best to shave it clean. There are rare people who like the scratchy fire between their legs, but for most, it will only cause irritation and discomfort. Got longer locks? Make sure your facial hair is clean and trimmed or combed. And don’t forget to wash up the fun is done!
- Don’t blow. Never blow into your partner’s vagina. It’s dangerous. Across the clit and vulva, yes. Into the vagina, no!
- Reduce fluid transfer. Whilst STIs can be transmitted through contact alone, transfer of sexual fluid and blood increase the risk. If your partner is menstruating or if you have any open wounds in your mouth or fingers the risks are increased. If you have any uncertainty of your partner’s status be prepared to play safe. Same when it comes to you — be honest if you think you may transfer an infection to her through your mouth. Dams (aka dental dams) are where it’s at when it comes to safe cunnilingus, and whilst they’re not considered particularly sexy, I’ve provided some detail below on how you can use them and make them sexy.
How to use a dental dam
Firstly, for anyone who doesn’t know what a “dental dam” is, it’s a thin, square sheet of latex that you use to cover the area your mouth is about to come in contact with. They can easily be found online and are also available in a lot of major pharmacies and stores. Go for the largest size as they can slide.
Who holds the dam in place? That’s up to you and will depend what you’re at but generally we find it’s best if the receiver holds it in place. This has the added benefit of the receiver having to be physically involved and giving them something to focus on, which can be useful if they are anxious.
How to use a dam for oral sex – source CDC.
The secret to sexy safe sex is to be prepared in advance and know how to use dams. This might not sound terribly sexy but it will help reduce any anxiety you may have when things are about to get down and dirty. And remember, much of the awkwardness around dams and safe sex is perception; don’t apologize. Be confident and you will put your partner at ease; safe sex is as much about protecting them as it is about protecting you.
Dam tip: In addition to dams, have some lube handy. Place it between the dam and your partner to enhance sensation.
5 ways you can use dental dams to enhance pleasure
I’ve been with my partner for a long time, double-digit years, yet we still occasionally use dams together. Why? Because latex is sexy and fun, and dams open other opportunities. Here are 5 ways you can use dams that actually enhance pleasure:
- Sex on fire. If your partner is the type who likes warming lube or tingling lube or any sort of lube you don’t fancy having in your mouth, then a dam can facilitate an experience that might not otherwise be possible sans-barrière.
- Spread the love. For those who have a sensitive partner, a damn allows you to give licky-licky action that is distributed more evenly across the vulva area. Even if they are not the most sensitive, the latex spread and sensation can be deeply satisfying.
- Saving tongue. Use the dam to tease your partner by sliding it across their clit or lips (add some lube between it and your partner). Not only does this feel great, but it gives your tongue a break without causing your partner frustration through stopping. This is another reason for buying the largest size.
- Bubble pop. If you want to try something different, suck some air into the dam, creating a bubble, then ease it back and forth with your tongue until it dissipates. This can be quite a tease if you get it right. Either way, it’s fun to break the ice.
- Bottoms up. Ever wanted to venture into ass-territory but scared of all those germs? A dam is your friend. Make sure you use a clean one and don’t place it near the vulva/vagina after. Now you can get rimming without fear.
How to pleasure a girl / woman / vulva-owner
The secret to pleasuring a clit-owner is to ensure they are aroused before you go anywhere near the clit. That means foreplay. And no, as per above, licking pussor eating y isn’t foreplay: Licking pussy is sex.
And what do we need before sex? That’s right. Foreplay.
“Aw, foreplay is boring. Get on with it and tell me how to lick that clit, woman”, I hear you say. I will. But wait a moment, foreplay really is big – I need to at least pay it lip service (excuse the pun). And it’s not just physical we’re talking either; your partner needs to be psychologically prepped if you’re going to give them a mouth-to-pussy climax and emerge an orgasm hero.
“Women” are usually sensitive and self-conscious beings and just like yourself, they may have performance fears or fears of rejection, so it’s important to ensure they are feeling sexy and comfortable. Don’t be afraid to let them know you’re a bit nervous and ask for their assistance and guidance; this can actually help them relax and be more vocal once you get down to lavishing your lips on their pussy.
When it comes to foreplay, get started early. Your woman (or other-gendered clit-owner) will be much easier to please if she’s already aroused. And your tongue will be grateful. Why not send a text earlier in the day to get their mind going? Trigger those sexy thoughts and let their mind take over. When you get together, be seductive. Stroke, kiss, tease. Don’t just dive in.
If you think of oral sex as foreplay you’re likely trying to go down on a partner who is not adequately aroused. That means more work for you and less fun for your partner. It could be the reason you’re missing out on those mouth-to-pussy orgasms and your partner ends up frustrated or faking it.
There. Done. If you need more info on what exactly foreplay is, how to initiate foreplay or how to get her aroused do a Google search or check out my book before you move on and try to eat her out. Trust me, if she’s not aroused and up for it, your cunni session will be pretty disastrous no matter how great your pussy-licking skills are.
Final rant: if you want to please a woman sexually, get good at pre-genital foreplay and building arousal. Take her to a state where she’s desperate for you to touch her. I’ve only skimmed lightly over foreplay because I know you’re keen to get between the legs!
Top 10 Pussy-licking mistakes to avoid
Let’s dive into some of the mistakes you may have made in the past whilst trying to give oral sex, or if you haven’t yet gone down on a woman, a list of common schoolboy errors to avoid.
- Viewing cunnilingus as foreplay and thus skipping “real” foreplay and going straight for the genitals — your partner will not be adequately warmed up physically or mentally; it’s unlikely you’ll make her come.
- Focusing only on the pussy and forgetting about the rest of the body — your partner will be left feeling anxious and exposed, any feeling of sexiness and arousal will fade away.
- Diving straight in with a manic pointy tongue frenzy — your partner will end up sore and numb, then push you away.
- Being ignorant of the clitoris and it’s role — without clitoral stimulation it is unlikely your partner will reach orgasm, so learn some basic anatomy.
- Using your teeth — don’t think there’s too much to be said here; the general rule is to keep those gnashers behind them lips – your lips, that is!
- Being too rough — if you slam fingers inside or suck too hard, it will hurt her and she’ll rightfully push you away (the clitoral head is like the head of a penis – not the full shaft, so dont try to give it a “blow job”!).
- Not listening and responding — if you treat her like a machine, mouthing the alphabet or reciting a routine you’ll miss the cues to take her to the next level and she’ll go cold.
- Being out for yourself (reciprocation) — your partner will sense selfish motivation; she will feel used and her sexual desire will die.
- Failing to maintain rhythm — once you find the rhythm that’s taking her to orgasm, changing it will cause the climax die a death.
- Stopping too soon — nuff said (btw, if you’d been better at foreplay and a more considerate lover she’d have probably orgasmed by now!)
Top Tip: Although not technically a pussy licking mistake, forgetting to use your hands will lose you brownie points. Hands can be used to caress the breasts and torso or to stimulate various areas of her vulva.
How to eat pussy…
So let’s assume you’ve got your gal excited and in the mood. What next? How do you get to that point where you’re actually going down on her pussy and eating her out?
Source: Pixelmob naked girl.
Here’s 5 steps to getting your tongue in pussy;
- Comfort counts: Ensure the room is a comfortable temperature, lighting is right and you have enough space. A large bed is perfect or a rug on the floor. Pillows can be handy for both your comfort.
- Use your full body: As you get warmed up, kiss her pay attention to her neck and collar bone. Caress her breasts through her clothes and tell her how ravishing she is. Try pressing your thigh (or even your still-clothed penis or strapon) against her groin area — you’ll know she’s getting highly aroused when she starts pressing and grinding her pussy against you.
- Pay lip service before lick service: Make your way down her body and breath her in. Savor her, work her top up and tell her how amazing her scent is. Be sure she knows you desire her and are reveling in the thought of devouring her pussy.
- Leave the panties on until the last minute. Breath hot air through them, rub your mouth and chin or nose against her mound and between her legs. The pantie barrier will cause the lips and clitoral hood to rub against the clit, making her want you like crazy. Her sent will make your desire to taste her even stronger. Don’t neglect the rest of the body; the inner thighs, the navel, the breasts…and the brain; moan and show her you are excited about what’s ahead.
- Avoid the clit: By now, you’ll be peeling those panties off. When you do get between those legs and commence tongue-action, be sure to avoid direct contact with the clit. Keep your tongue flat and use it to explore the lips and circle lightly around the clitoral hood. Use your fingers to hide or expose flesh, and to tease. Kiss the inner thighs and navel, and stroke her body to maintain connectedness – this is the stage when your partner will feel most exposed and anxious.
In virtually all cases, erogenous zones will respond best to gentle stimulation first, with firmer pressure becoming more desirable as arousal levels increase.
Top Tip: The best position for cunnilingus is missionary. When you get down to licky-licky, do as follows; lay the receiver on their back and have them pull their feet towards their butt, causing their knees to raise. Then spread the legs slightly — just enough for you to fit between them and no more. You should be in a position whereby your mouth can easily press against your partner’s vulva. For taller folks, if you’re on a bed try laying at a diagonal.
How to lick a clit and give oral sex the right way
So you’ve landed between the legs and are currently teasing, pleasuring and pussy eating away. Now it’s time to really lavish some love on that clitoris and drive her to orgasm. Note that it is very possible she has already orgasmed — some clitoris’s are extremely sensitive and all that pre-clitoral action may have resulted in climax. If so, take things back a noch and slowly build her back up again for round two.
How to eat pussy – 5 top tips
Assuming she hasn’t yet climaxed, below are your next steps to oral-orgamsatron:
- Forget the alphabet myth: whilst this can be used as a form of foreplay and I cover it in my book, it really should not be used for driving an orgasm. The constant changing combined with lack of your attention is unlikely to satisfy any woman. Same goes for recalling combo-moves and counting licks or the length of time you spend on each particular technique. Whilst it may be useful to have an idea of order and duration, every person progresses differently. All this focusing on letters or routine does is take your attention away from reading and responding to your lover’s signals.
- Use the hood: When you get down to business, the little piece of flesh that protects the clit is your friend. It allows you to distribute stimulation more evenly, create a grinding effect and build arousal. Do this by lightly pinching the hood or lips with a finger and thumb, turning them into a barrier between the clit and your tongue. Then start kissing, licking and lapping with long, slow strokes from the vagina entrance right up to the clit. Not only is this a huge tease that can often result in climax, it is also a great technique for when you’re with someone who is a little too sensitive for direct tongue-on-clit action.
- Mix up those strokes: As you progress, use a variety of strokes, circles, speed and pressure. This allows you to discover what gets your partner off whilst also reducing the tongue ache caused by repetitive strain. You can use an up-down lick or gently flick your tongue sideways across the clit, alternating with circles. Try a long purposeful lick, from the vagina to the clit, stroking in a diagonal direction or using the sides of your tongue. Try holding your tongue against the clit and doing nothing; Let your lover grind against you if they wish. All this variety builds tension and allows you to figure out what does it for them.
- Enter the finger(s): The desire for penetration varies from person to person. I personally love it. Assuming your partner has consented, dip in for a tease, but hold back on full G-Spot stimulation. Try inserting one stationary finger. The finger should barely touch the vaginal walls, and will build anticipation. Similarly, you can use a thumb to plug the vaginal entrance (barely entering at all). With this technique, you are teasing the rim of the entrance with girth, rather than depth. Both techniques will build tension while you continue with lip service.
- Keep ‘er steady: Eventually, you will come to a point where you — and your partner — have found the rhythm for destined to make her climax. When this happens, stay consistent with the movement, pressure and speed. No sudden changes. Keep that rhythm going until the big O or until your partner indicates desire for something different such as penetration. Seriously, don’t change it!
Top Tip: Your ability to be mindful, aware of what you are doing and respond to her body is more important that perfecting some newfound tongue-skill or combo-move. Why not be brave and try eye contact to increase intensity?
5 bonus techniques: advanced pussy licking and how to stop tongue ache
Here’s 5 bonus tips and techniques for you to try. If you like the sound of them and want more information, check out The Cunnilinguist: How To Give And Receive Great Oral Sex – Top Tips From Both Ends Of The Tongue where you’ll find details and further techniques for not much more than the price of a beer!
- Get your squeeze on: Straddle your partner’s mid-lower legs and squeeze them together with yours whilst you attempt to please her. Yes, I said “attempt”. This squeeze restricts your access and makes it difficult for your tongue to gain full contact with the clitoris. It will arouse your partner and build tension (and often frustration!). When you release those legs, your partner will be begging for action. This is one of my favorite moves 😉
- The clit sandwich: Use the length of your middle finger and index finger to sandwich the clit and hood. This will allow you to stimulate the clit and surrounding areas whilst avoiding direct contact with the head, by using the clitoral head an inner lips as a barrier. You can also use a thumb to “pinch”. Both these techniques allow you to either hide or expose the clit, enabling you to apply controlled stimulation with your mouth to the desired area.
- The French suck*: Start with a vacuum-esque “French Kiss” that covers most of the vulva. Play with your tongue in the wetness, build up with flat licks, then gently suck the clit and release. Do this several times. Then get closer and press the flat of your tongue firmly against the clit. Simultaneously suck (gently) and grind (gently) your tongue against and around the clit. Note that using the tip of your tongue will be too much for most clits; stick to the flat instead.
- Polishing the pearl**: Similar to above, however instead of a “French kiss” style open-mouth, you’re pucker your lips to form an “ooh” shape around the clit and suck (gently!) to create a seal. Press the tip of your tongue through your lips and circle it around the nub. Follow this with an up-down motion and increase the pressure as your partner demands.
- Face off: You were given a chin and nose for a reason: To drive your partner wild during oral sex and to give your tongue a well-deserved break. Using your chin, nose, or entire face is one of the easiest ways to give your tongue a break whilst maintaining clitoral contact and staying close.
Bonus-Bonus Tip: From the missionary position (the position where most oral orgasms come from) pop a pillow under your partner’s butt. This will not only give you better access to the goods, but will give you more scope to adjust your position and ease neck strain.
* Sucking is not desirable to everyone, especially those with sensitive clits. Any sucking action should not be attempted until later in the session, when she’s highly aroused. Take it slowly and gently. Be mindful of her reactions.
** Polishing the pearl should only be attempted after the French suck, after you know she enjoys clit-sucking action. Why? Because that pointed tip of your tongue will be in direct contact with the clit which can be way too much stimulation for some women.
How to tell if she has orgasmed
When a woman has an orgasm after receiving oral sex, it’s usually explosive. You will feel multiple involuntary spams and contractions throughout their body, stemming from the vagina walls, pelvic floor, and anus. Your lover may ejaculate a small or large amount of fluid — aka squirting or female ejaculation.
If your fingers are inside, you will feel the spasms and may even feel sparks of energy dissipate and cause your partner to shudder. Their thighs will squeeze, their body may contort, and when they can’t take any more they will physically push you away.
How to give her multiple orgasms
Trade secret: It’s much, much easier to make a woman come the second time than the first.
Same goes for the third, and fifth. So giving her multiple orgasms is not quite so difficult as you might think. Especially now you understand that sex is not just penis in vagina and you know a thing or two about licking pussy.
More than anything, she needs to be in the right state for it to happen (highly aroused) and her body needs to be capable or multiple or back-to-back orgasms (some bodies aren’t). There are many techniques and one of the most popular is edging; bringing them to the point of pre-orgasm multiple times before actually allowing her to go there. Often, this is not the best route to take with a new partner unless you’re both pretty confident as it can go the other way and result in frustration — but it is awesome, and certainly worth working on introducing to your sex life 😉
One of the safer techniques that I finds works well in relation to oral sex is G-Spot stimulation at the right time (assuming your partner enjoys penetration). And it’s the reason I try to hold back from giving too much penetration during the early stages of cunnilingus.
Similar to men, our bits do take a moment to recover before they are ready for another orgasm, this is known as the “refractory period“. For those of us with a clit this can be very short and sometimes virtually non-existent, however in many cases our clitoris will need a short breather after orgasm. And thats when those fingers (and/or toys) come into play. Note: it’s not penis or strap-on time yet — you need to show some restraint and keep paying close attention down there. You can have your fun later (maybe. #consent).
One of the methods for back-to-back and multiple orgasms is to stimulate other erogenous zones such as the vagina, lips, or anus just as the orgasm is ending and to keep that stimulation up. For me, I switch focus to stimulating the G-spot with 2–3 fingers and massaging her outer lips, giving the clit a little time to recover. And by the time she’s climaxed again, the clit is usually better placed for a repeat performance. We can go through this cycle many times triggering a mix of “back-to-back/all-at-once” orgasms. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
How to satisfy a woman in bed – always
Delivering satisfaction through sex and watching your partner come is exhilarating, however what happens if your partner doesn’t climax? There are many reasons a receiver of cunnilingus may not come and many of these reasons will be nothing to do with you or your performance. Regardless of whether your partner came or not, there is one way to almost always guarantee satisfaction and a happy ending: Indulge in physical—but non-sexual—post-sex intimacy. Research has shown it to enhance intimacy, connectedness and sexual satisfaction within relationships.
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So hold your partner and bond. Don’t just roll over and go to sleep, jerk one off, or leave. If you do any of those things, you are missing out on an opportunity to get closer to your lover, increase their confidence in you and thus increase the likelihood that they will climax the next time you go down on them.
Top Tip: introduce sex toys to your next session. Not only is she more likely to orgasm, but you will you learn a lot about what gets her off, and, after you get over any insecurities you may have, you’ll find it becomes a real turn on for you too.
A caveat – it takes two to tango, even with oral sex
A final word; good cunnilingus is not all about you being able to give “good cunnilingus”. Yes, you heard that right. As a lesbian who regularly finds herself at both ends of the tongue, I can tell you that your receiving partner has a lot of say on how “successful” your pussy eating endeavors are. So much so, I wrote a book on it; The Cunnilinguist: How To Give And Receive Great Oral Sex.
If you’d like to learn more — or if you’d like your partner to learn more — go check it out!
So there we have it! Your free lesbian guide on how to eat pussy has come to an end. You should have a decent grasp of female anatomy, know how to lick a clit and give ultimate pleasure to a “woman” or anyone with a clit!
Now, go forth and have some fun!
The Cunnilinguist – available from Amazon and all major retailers (click image for Amazon)…or if you prefer the Audiobook click here.
